Duh! and Treatment 4

Here's what's been on my mind.
About a week or more ago I woke with two songs in my head. One was the classic hymn by Thomas Dorsey written in 1932, Precious Lord, Take My Hand (Hear the Randy Travis version Hee, hee!) and the other was If I Stand by Rich Mullins written some time in the late 80's-early 90's. Both songs are about leading, guiding, lending strength. I had been questioning the notion that 'Christ suffered like any human.' How could Christ understand being a woman, wife, and/or mother? Were his hours on the cross (albeit horrific) comparable to my long months of 'suffering' through surgery and chemo and anything else that may come? Does he really understand all that? How could he? He's a man, he never married, and he certainly didn't get chemo.

And then a verse and another song came to mind. The verse was Matthew 9:5 "Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'?" and the song was Happy Day (You can hear it at http://www.imeem.com/artists/fee/music/AiRkkVcL/fee-happy-day/ I couldn't get it to open without the login bit) by Fee. Both those together reminded me that Jesus didn't need to walk in my shoes exactly. His life and 'mission' on this earth was so much greater; my struggles are with this world and what it holds. Jesus came to restore me of my sin! He paid the debt and washed me clean so that I am even given the chance to stand before the Father. Had he not died on the cross that I may be forgiven of my sins, I would be forever separated from Christ by my sin. Hellooo!! Which is worse" feeling cruddy because of drugs or to be forever separated from my Father, Creator? Duh. It gave me a bit of perspective that day.

Treatment 4 has come and trying to 'go.' I've had a harder time shaking it this time - feeling a bit toxic all the time. I was quite emotional the last go-round and was worried it may carry over the next few weeks. On Friday I asked Josh if he could get me a jello with whipped cream. When he brought it to me moments later I broke into tears, "You brought me jello with whipped cream!!" Oh, good grief. Thankfully, that sort of thing seems to be fading. There's still tears on occasion about my lot in life - remember: I'm not supposed to be the one with cancer! In some ways it's all still very surreal.

The blood draw today went well. White blood cells at 2.something which is way up from where it's ever been, though still in the toilet. Platelets were down from last time, but not as low as they have been; and the hemoglobin (oxygen-carrying factor) was down so I need an iron supplement - or lots of steak and spinach, right?!

So there you have it! Thank you for the wonderful ways everyone continues to support me and my family. What a blessing!!