Chemo 7: Done!

Well, it's in the system anyway. We decided to do a little bit of steroids. She gave me the dose during chemo that I've gotten in the past, I'll take 2 mg twice on Friday & Saturday, then 2 mg once on Sun & Monday. I think. Anyway, they're working on the 'taper' because that's what apparently causes the emotional crash. The nurse practitioner said that for patients with lymphoma, they get 100 mg. for treatment (I don't know what I was given, but that sounds like a lot given that my 'taper meds' are only 4 mg.) and then they don't get ANY taper. THAT'll mess with your system! Again another humbling experience to hear that after I'm going round and round trying to get dosages so my hands don't hurt. Nice, Amanda.
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Josh picked up My Utmost for His Highest (online link) by Oswalk Chambers (Amazon) again and so every so often I read it also. If you've never read any of it, I highly recommend it! Here's one that struck me as of late:


VISION AND DARKNESS
from myutmost.org

"An horror of great darkness fell upon him." Genesis 15:12

Whenever God gives a vision to a saint, He puts him, as it were, in the shadow of His hand, and the saint's duty is to be still and listen. There is a darkness which comes from excess of light, and then is the time to listen. Genesis 16 is an illustration of listening to good advice when it is dark instead of waiting for God to send the light. When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait His time. Never try and help God fulfil His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure. Never pump up joy and confidence, but stay upon God (cf. Isaiah 50:10,11).

Have I any confidence in the flesh? Or have I got beyond all confidence in myself and in men and women of God; in books and prayers and ecstasies; and is my confidence placed now in God Himself, not in His blessings? "I am the Almighty God" - El-Shaddai, the Father-Mother God. The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real.


And so we wait in our "time of discipline." Josh & I were talking about our church planting plans 4 months ago and it felt so right and God-ordained. And now here we are in this 'desert.' What is God working out in our family? In me? In my kids and family? What will it take for me to know that God is real? What else will He teach me? Time to read Gen 16 to learn what's in there.
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My feet and lips are already tingly so I'm back on the couch sipping cool drinks with my feet propped on pillows. Noah's having a slumber birthday party - watching the movie 9. Not a bad gig for the moment! The comments these boys make - throughout the ENTIRE movie - are sometimes hilarious!